SUNDAY The Alamo (BBC2, 6.45 pm). In all this three hour spread of blood, bullets and John Wayne, it is the alert and persevering viewer who can spot the aeroplane trail that appears Hitchcock-like in the Mexican sky.
TUESDAY Food and Drink (BBC2, 7.35 pm). How to avoid a hangover (while drinking) and, more to the point, how to cure one. According to one scholar of Old English, courtiers in the time of Beowulf were permanently blotto. I wonder how they managed.
The 20th Century Remembered (BBC!, 10.45pm). Or perhaps dismembered. Lord Home of the Hirsel (What is a Hirsel? the Judge asked) fishes through the last 50 years. Once he used to cut up people's aspidistras. Now he talks about Neville Chamberlain.
WEDNESDAY Mary Stuart (BBC1, 9.25pm). Dame Janet Baker bids farewell to the London operatic stage by impersonating one of the young Jane Austen's prize heroines.
THURSDAY The Associates (BBC2, 10.05pm). A terrible American comedy in which
Wilfred Hyde White is guyed like some bankrupt bear by an arglebargle pack of Harvard puppies.
Don Giovanni (Tuesday, 7.30pm). It is now widely known that the Princess of Wales's 19th Century cousin was converted to Catholicism by witnessing the daring don's consignment to the flames. Let us hope that they leave young William's pram near the wireless for this performance.
The Legacy of the Castrato (Thursday, 7.00pm). I find it very distressing when people make jokes of personal names. To take my mind
off it, I shall stage a little competition. The first reader to send in the complete jokes to fit these punchlines wins a bottle of 12-day old Cuban Whiskie. Here goes: Two in the front, two in the back and the rest in the ashtrays. An Irish woodworm. Her 25-year-old-port. Max Hastings.
Hermits (Sunday, 11.00pm). In her fourth programme, Teresa McLean considers Serafim of Sarov.
Rabies (Tuesday, 4.10pm). More people have died of this disease in the last 50 years in Britain than France. It is all the rage.